Reading Time: 2 Minutes
My friend has disappeared though he lives
down the road between sweetgrass, updraft and evergreen
in a made house I’ve never seen.
We’re living in a puny monsoon season drenched
with waiting and in starlight totems of sky.
My friend has hunkered down with his four
little dogs’ ceaseless fur.
He tells me by text he discovered “will have left”
is future, present, and past all at once.
Which means I will never be through with the eyeholes
of my top floor West Coast apartment
where the fog whipped limpid and filled with azaleas.
In such atmosphere, my shadow learned
to burrow in disorder. I’ve also left and am likewise
still bent to the fat filthy resin
and liturgy of Manhattan, and the runes and disbound fields
of Montana, those weeks without heroes,
those wrecked weeks I gladly
went no place but the pond, and yes,
I also lean in now and then to the orbit and habit
of Boston where I hung in hounding heat, broken up, shivering.
We are suspended in places
entire and different and home.
What I left was the restless growing, the slippery
wages, each white tread of evening. Left witches,
sieges, drafts and domes. What I left
was my tender body that wanted to punish.
Look how we adjust to such up and leaving.
Though I remember porcelain, soil, less flesh,
I have to reach backward to do so.
I trust my friend who is absent, my friend
who gives me his eye every two years:
making photos of my face like a meadow, tilling my body
for abundant light. I tell him last summer I climbed
the surface of a small mottling in the Organ Mountains but left
all the bones in their places, pressured to earth.
My friend down the road texts many times. Today
is the same as before, and we quick
question nothing and that’s what happens.
I find a book on a shelf and now the rain has begun
and is tilted with promise
but this is the desert which means
by the time I say I felt a drop, it will have left.